Libra Outlook for 2012

Libra

Although many have secretly been dreading the arrival of 2012, you've personally been looking forward to it. That's because karmic taskmaster Saturn has been doing a number on your life over the past two-plus years. Relationship lessons have been relentless throughout this time. If you haven't made important decisions about where to commit - and where to quit - these are your final months to do so. Don't wait another 30 years to get clear on what you truly want in your relationships. You'll be in the throes of Saturn's testing until October, when it moves into your neighboring sign, Scorpio. Consider this your final exam!

Jupiter will be in its fellow Venus-ruled sign of Taurus, making a magical aspect to your stars for a good portion of 2012. Jupiter's lucky presence in your sector of sexuality, transformation and other people's money brings every material and emotional resource you could ever want or need. You'll have no problem attracting the proper support to fund your current or future projects. This is also the year for coming into your true power by transforming all the dead weight of your past. Change looks good on you, Libra. You've been shedding layers of karma, and now you're about to reap the wonders of renewal.

World travel beckons in 2012, so pack your bags! The spring-summer eclipse patterns activate your travel sector in May and June, and Venus is in your travel sector between April and August. During the retrograde phase in May and June, you may want to be lay low or avoid more intricate itineraries. Mars will be spending the entire first half of the year in your sector of sleep, unconscious processes and dreams. This could create some inner turbulence (if not all-out insomnia) if you don't give yourself enough expressive and physical outlets. As always, it's about finding balance, Libra.

Autumn is here...

Finally too! I love the fall, except it just a preparation for everything that's going to die or dying. But everything is so beautiful, the colors and the air. At least where I live, the one week of spring we get and the month of fall is the best time here.

Reno to Santa Barbara

Actually its more like Sparks to Goleta...but hey, its close enough. So....life! Well, lets see...from my previous rant, I actually found my older/mature guy. Yup!-- and no, I didn't rush-into-another-relationship-just-to-have-companionship-situation either! Although I am a lot more cautious than I was with the last couple of guys thou!!!

...But lets just say that it doesn't get any more perfect than a Keebler, and I'm not talkin about the cookies even thou he's good enough to eat like a cookie! So if you haven't guessed, that guy from Cali, well...its serious! Really serious, and I love it! That other little boy I was 'seeing', ha haaa...WTF was wrong with me, thats all I can think about!!! I just found the most perfect man, the man of my dreams, and I'm not letting him go...and I don't think I have to worry cause he isn't gonna let me go either. So what about my house??? Ha Haaa....well, I'm just gonna have to rent it out! So yes, I am moving to Santa Barbara...500 miles away or so, but I get ocean! With dolphins and whales...and like the hottest-buffest guy in the world! With the most amazing family, great personality and an awesome career, did I mention his body?!?!?! His most perfect body!!!!
 
Ok, well anyways. Yes. I am moving away and I think its so wonderful. Away from the fake Reno people and their drama, and away from the heat, and snow...to a much better place with a better atmosphere. I can't wait to get outta here-but unfortunately I have to wait. These things still take time, even if they seem so right and perfect. And as much as I am dreading this wait, it will be good for us in the end. And once I leave here...I can never really go back to this life. Even if I move back, it wont ever be the same. I will just have to be patient and wait, and it will be a perfect life. Besides, if we can both withstand the time and distance, it will make our relationship that much more amazing and awesome!

Getting Over It!

Seems like the hardest thing to do! OMG....why? WHY!?!?!?!? I cant stand feeling this way. So update: The stupid guy that I liked sooooo much, well apparently he has better things to do than show a little attention to a girl that he's kinda/sorta dating, lets just be friends. Huh, right? So, in chick language that equals-your too needy and I just need someone to fuck on the side. And what the fuck is with men and this 'friends' bullshit that they like to use as a cover up? Well, unfortunately I really like him...really really bad. That's where I need to get over it. But then I ask myself, why? Why do I like him sooo much, when there are so many other (older/mature) guys out there that would give me the world?!?!? I cant answer that. So I need to confront this guy and just lay it all on the table. He has no idea what he has done to my emotions and my feelings, so I feel like I need to let him know, then I think I can move on. I'm pretty sure that's part of my problem, is that he has no clue. At least that's how he's acting. Another one bites the dust I guess....

Well, speaking of guys that would give me the world...I think I found one in this mess of things. Another good friend of mine recommended that I talk to him because he felt that he could relate to what I was going throu. So I did....no harm right, he lives in California. Wow...! This innocent rant of a broken hearted conversation has flipped into so much more. I had not expected this at all. He is one of the sweetest, most caring, loving guys that I have ever met. One problem thou, he lives 9 hours away....ROAD TRIP! But yea, he is coming up to visit me in 2 weeks!!!

So one Sunday, I'm just a mess...laying in bed around noon, depressed and sad and crying...like I have been. So this guy messages me, just how ya doing...so I'm honest. What does he do...the one thing that I needed the most and I didn't even know it, a picture of his dog with that sad face. And then we just kinda hit it off from there. Talk every day, every night. Next thing I know, after a week of non-stop talking to each other, he wants me to be in his life-permanently! I should be scared, I mean...I just met this guy a couple weeks ago on the internet and he wants to have a life with me. I told him to wait at least until we meet each other in person. He's flying up here to see me in 2 weeks now!!!I'm really excited, at first I didn't know what to think, but now I'm really happy. So now the problem is a long distance relationship, which I do not want to do, and my house. I just bought it, so moving is almost out of the question! But this guy also has a career and a solid job that he can't really leave, plus he lives on the ocean, who would want to give that up? I know that I really have nothing here, so moving doesn't sound at all that bad. Its just now I'm a little worried cause the last guy came and went so fast, and I don't want to be stuck in a place where I have to start all over if things don't work out. Its really risky. So I guess I'm gonna attempt to give it about a year or so and then see what happens. If I find that I can't live without him, then yea...I'll move.

So...so far, that's my life. Doing shitty...just trying to get back into the scene and get into the social friendship network. After the last 5-6 years moved without me, I need to restart. I need to find myself, and who I am and just restart and be me!

Love Sick!

So here I am...sicker than a dog over a guy! I never, ever, thought that I would be the type of person that could catch this dreadful disease. Its the new guy too...the one I met roughly a month and a half ago. I am so wrapped up in emotions over him that its been driving me crazy. I can't honestly say it's love, its way too soon to really blame that, I feel like it is, but I know its too soon and it could just be an infatuation. He just really made me feel so complete when we first met, and now it seems to have slowly tapered off into nothing. So now I haven't heard from him in the last 24-48 hours and after what I recall as the best sex I've ever had. But it's not all about the sex, right?-well for me, I take that pretty seriously. I wonder if I'm missing something, or if there is something wrong that I'm not aware of? Some people are saying that I'm acting way too clingy for the time frame that its been. Some say that I need to back off and let him come to me since it seems like I do all the pursuing. Then, what I should consider the most obvious is that I need to wait until the ex is out before I start thinking serious terms. Yes, the ex is still around. I've actually moved into my game room, I know-WTF are you doing sleeping on a futon in the game room in your own house!?!?!?!?!? Its what I have to do, sacrifices that I need to make cause he ain't gonna move into another room and sacrifice his precious bed...you would think that he would want to do that for me anyways.

So back to reality.

Since this new guy has been drifting off, at first I thought that he was maybe seeing someone else. But then he said he wasn't, and there was really no evidence and he didn't seem like a liar at all. He just happens to be suddenly extremely busy all the time! Well, and this new thing just dropped in his lap that could possibly change his future as far as his career goes. I really hope it works, but I have my doubts. But being the person I am, I have learned that you just need to keep certain opinions to yourself, because some things actually do work out. So this new thing has been taking up a lot of his free time, and then with summer around the corner his work has been a lot more demanding. So of course his free time will be relaxing, that's what I would do I guess.

So going forward (I might change my mind depending on the situation) I just might have to tell him that I would like to get to know him more and that when he has more free time for me, to just call me. I can't do the 'half' relationship that we are doing. Honestly I have no idea what kind of relationship we are even in! I don't know how serious he wants to take things. I know he wants to go slow until I get my ex situation taken care of, but we are not taking it slow at all. Slow is not equal to nonexistent. I want to be his friend at least, and get to know him a lot more that's for sure. But its hard to be friends with someone that doesn't hold a conversation at all, and seems to forget about you a lot. I guess that means I'm not as 'perfect' as I once was I was.

Spinning Out of Control!

How! How did this happen, and so quickly. I mean, one minute I’m in a 5 year relationship, then it's over...but the ex doesn’t want to leave. So I let him stay-big mistake. Then after a year, I run into what I think is the most incredible guy that I've met in a long, long time. Who cares that he is 6 years younger than I am…he is really hot, very sweet, and has his shit together. Pretty rare for his age I think. He tells me that he likes girls that are responsible and don’t have drama…well, guess what! I think I have drama with my stupid ex still in the house, AND we still sleep in the same bed. What the hell am I supposed to do here!?!?!?!?! I know, I know….kick him out. But there are all these ‘buts=what if it doesnt work out with this new guy, or what if I don't like living by myself...' and even before I met this amazing guy, my other buddy told me to kick the ex out, to not even let him move into my new place! The ex is hard to convince to move on thou. It’s really hard to convince him to leave. He is still a good friend,

and I really hope that he can move on without relying on me so much. I guess first things first...buy a bed for myself. I need to still remember focus on getting what I want for me! Not to go and do stuff because of someone else. So think about my actions, analyze the best situation for myself and go!!!

Welcome Home!

So I have officially moved all my stuff to my first home!!! And let me tell you, that after a week of painting the whole thing, It looks amazing and was worth it. I painted the living room twice, and the Master bedroom twice as well, and I ended up

painting a hallway black,  the colors all over look amazing, plus an extra trip or two to the paint store to hang out with the hot paint guy was also worth it ;) So now that I have moved in, what to do with my living situation. My 'roommie' has moved his bed into the master bedroom. First of all, I don't have a bed of my own, and second of all it wouldn't be able to fit anywhere else. I think I might have to crash in the living room until we can get the whole thing straightened out. I think I would like it in my new place by myself, I might get more done. I mean, he even took off 2 days of work and just lectured me on I am wasting my time painting and not even helping. If he would've helped me then I might have had all the walls painted. I just have the window sills and the fireplace left to do, little stuff. And now that a lot of my crap is in here, I get to sort and separate and get rid of the crap. I am looking for a good dining room table, since I had a bar area at the last place and no table, now I need the table. I found a few that I think I like, lets hope they are pretty cheap. I don't have very much left after I put the down on my house and paid some stuff off too. But I think it was well worth it. I still need to read my doc's so I know who to pay...lol..., anyways Love my new home, I think I will call it the House of Hyrule. I now need to organize, finish painting, start the backyard project, and get my crazy room-mate situation under control. Wish me luck!!!!

When things are looking up...

...they are actually in all reality are in the dumps! I just feel like I need a new life, i fucked this one up and I'm too far down the road to fix it. Why? I mean, I have every reason to complain about my life and at the same time, no room to complain at all!
First of all, I have a job, and I should be grateful, I am to a point. And not just any job, but a very good paying job at that. The problem thou is that I am at the bottom of my position and everything I do to attempt to advance has been thrown in my face. I'm told that I don't try hard enough, and I need to focus. I feel like a failure at my job, and my co-workers seem to get annoyed with me.
My personal life, I have friends...but no one that I'm very close to. Everyone else has a life, career, school, kids, family...etc...what do I have? 3 fucking cats and a dog! When I go out with my friends, sometimes I even feel used, for just a booty call, or dinner and a movie, or something I feel used about. I don't feel like I have much of a personal life at all. I tried to hang out with a few people that I like to hang out with, and now they never call or anything...I feel like something happened that made them not like me as a social person.
My Love Life....sucks! I'm in love with someone and I'm not even sure how to go about it. I've liked this guy for well over 4-5 years. I live with my ex and I cant get him to move out and he makes it hard to move on cause he cares so much about me and I just don't have the same feelings. It's sooo hard to live with the same person for 6 years and then change your lifestyle suddenly...I'm still not sure how to handle it. And then when the water finally clears, do I even want to try another stupid relationship again? Ugh!!!

Anyways...it's life.

January 2011!

Well, now that the new year is here...and well on it's way, I need to determine what I want to accomplish this year.

So for starters, the biggest thing that I'm involved in right now is getting my house. I just got notified yesterday that we are waiting on the appraisal for the bank (the house is a short sale), and we should be well on our way! So looking at moving in the first week of March, that would be nice. Now I need to get someone to take over my place and give notice to my lady. I feel kinda bad but hey, I need to move on too. What else....gonna do Zumba. Starting today I will take an 8 classes and then hopefully get into the Hip Hop Dance classes...if I can get my stamina up to par. Next after moving, I need to get with my 'room-mate/ex' and move him out. If were not together anymore, than we really need to part ways. Then after John is gone, I really need to live on my own for a bit...I know Jesse wants to start things up, but I still want some time to really be on my own.

When I move and on my own, I will end up with just my cat Anka and my little dog Chai, and I would also really like to start walking him every day like a good doggie parent. It's hard when it's cold outside and it gets dark. Oh well...shouldn't matter.

I also want to get plans ready for my backyard and get that started! I have an idea to do a Japanese garden in the back and along the walkway. Inside in my smaller bedroom I really want to just theme that room for whatever is going on at that time of year, that will be my guest room. Then the bigger second bedroom I think I wanna do my gaming room, and that will be crazy, not really themed, just put some cool stuff up. And then my living room isn't so big, not compared to the one I'm in right now, but I'm thinking pool table. Oh yes...that would be nice!

As far as my job goes...well, I am really disappointed at myself for not really putting myself out there. Everyone that has been in my position since I started has moved up. And I have tried 3 times to get myself going, and my self confidence has gone out the window, so I need to build myself back up and get it going. No more feeling sorry, and doubting myself. I need to jump in head first and go!!!

So....so far I got for this year: House-Zumba-Work Work Work-Walk Chai-John moved out-Game Room-Themed Room-Japanese Garden-Pool Table-and still go out and have fun downtown during the holidays!

So, lets see how this goes!