So here I am...sicker than a dog over a guy! I never, ever, thought that I would be the type of person that could catch this dreadful disease. Its the new guy too...the one I met roughly a month and a half ago. I am so wrapped up in emotions over him that its been driving me crazy. I can't honestly say it's love, its way too soon to really blame that, I feel like it is, but I know its too soon and it could just be an infatuation. He just really made me feel so complete when we first met, and now it seems to have slowly tapered off into nothing. So now I haven't heard from him in the last 24-48 hours and after what I recall as the best sex I've ever had. But it's not all about the sex, right?-well for me, I take that pretty seriously. I wonder if I'm missing something, or if there is something wrong that I'm not aware of? Some people are saying that I'm acting way too clingy for the time frame that its been. Some say that I need to back off and let him come to me since it seems like I do all the pursuing. Then, what I should consider the most obvious is that I need to wait until the ex is out before I start thinking serious terms. Yes, the ex is still around. I've actually moved into my game room, I know-WTF are you doing sleeping on a futon in the game room in your own house!?!?!?!?!? Its what I have to do, sacrifices that I need to make cause he ain't gonna move into another room and sacrifice his precious bed...you would think that he would want to do that for me anyways.
So back to reality.
Since this new guy has been drifting off, at first I thought that he was maybe seeing someone else. But then he said he wasn't, and there was really no evidence and he didn't seem like a liar at all. He just happens to be suddenly extremely busy all the time! Well, and this new thing just dropped in his lap that could possibly change his future as far as his career goes. I really hope it works, but I have my doubts. But being the person I am, I have learned that you just need to keep certain opinions to yourself, because some things actually do work out. So this new thing has been taking up a lot of his free time, and then with summer around the corner his work has been a lot more demanding. So of course his free time will be relaxing, that's what I would do I guess.
So going forward (I might change my mind depending on the situation) I just might have to tell him that I would like to get to know him more and that when he has more free time for me, to just call me. I can't do the 'half' relationship that we are doing. Honestly I have no idea what kind of relationship we are even in! I don't know how serious he wants to take things. I know he wants to go slow until I get my ex situation taken care of, but we are not taking it slow at all. Slow is not equal to nonexistent. I want to be his friend at least, and get to know him a lot more that's for sure. But its hard to be friends with someone that doesn't hold a conversation at all, and seems to forget about you a lot. I guess that means I'm not as 'perfect' as I once was I was.
